It’s all right, I woke up feeling cheerful this morning, so why the rant?

It’s not really a rant, but annoyance at poor marketing.

When I go to a cashpoint, I don’t want to be offered the chance to win football tickets as I have no interest in football. The assumption that I am interested annoys me. Now, promotions through cash machines are a challenge to target as most people need cash, both those who like sport and those who don’t. If my bank wants to drive away non-sports lovers, it’s doing a good job. If it wants to keep us happy, it could either stop offering football tickets or offer a range of tickets for other activities, eg theatre, music, film. These wouldn’t just not annoy me but would actually attract me to participate in the promotion.

And I wouldn’t feel so annoyed if sales people phoned up and asked if we had a franking machine rather than asking to speak to the person in charge of the franking machine which we haven’t got. How sloppy is this? If they can’t be bothered to establish whether or not the franking machine they think we have exists, it’s unlikely they would provide good service had we got one.

Just a slight alteration and all annoyance can be avoided.

It’s worth remembering if you don’t want to annoy potential customers.

z2zine next: getting small things right can make PR more effective

Follow us on twitter @z2zine

“People who like quotations love meaningless generalizations.”
Graham Greene, Travels with my Aunt

A great question for an essay or maybe to discuss over a drink in the pub, but sadly too many people take the lazy way out and quote away with very little accompanying original thought.

I enjoy reading the work of Jerome K Jerome, but if you search for him on twitter there are two specific quotations tweeted so many times daily that you wonder whether these people have actually read anything by him. (You’ll have to search yourself as I won’t include them here.)

Quotations can be very powerful when used sparingly. After all, how many of us can better the words of the greatest thinkers and writers? But if we communicate our ideas solely through someone else’s language we end up sounding like receptacles for soundbites with no ability to think for ourselves.

I imagine that a lot of people who issue their daily quote quotas don’t think deeply, while some can but don’t feel confident enough to express themselves effectively. Perhaps they think their ideas will carry more weight when shored up by the words of a well-known figure, even though the genius of a great writer is more likely to overshadow their message.

My own preference is to hear someone express their thoughts in their own words.

z2zine next: Assuming our assumptions are correct

Follow us on twitter @z2zine

There’ll be lots of government agencies and business advisers present to offer free advice to all business.

We’ll be tweeting from the event and hope to see you there or else say hello to you on twitter and follow #fsbnd

Follow Kevin at @llamakevin

Follow Multiheat Energy Systems at @infraredheating

Follow Zarywacz at @z2zine

Follow me at @robertz

What is that? Where is it? When was it? Why was it there? What was the point? Who did it? Is it still there? Is that an inflatable? What gas was used to inflate it? Who chose the colours? Where did it come from? Will it be there again? Is that a mountain or a hill? Is it inland or on the coast? What are those brown patches on the hill/mountain?

That’s already 15 questions in just 72 words, so just think how many questions you could ask in a thousand words.

So does that mean words are more effective for communicating than pictures?

Of course not: both are useful in different ways. A picture or photograph can grab attention specifically because people want to find out more about a stunning image. For example, the BBC England website news page often has an ‘England’s Big Picture’ feature showing a partial image to tease viewers into opening it up to see if it is what they think it is. Stunning photography or images that tease can be useful in PR and marketing to attract people to read accompanying text.

In the same way, intriguing headlines can grab readers’ attention so that they read an accompanying article or text. News papers and websites make imaginative use of words in this way and, within reason, press releases and articles can do the same, as long as they do not mislead.

So what are more effective: words or pictures?

Neither. When applied with skill, one will not be more effective but will complement the other. If anything, a great photo will be let down by lousy writing, while a well-written article can be buried by poor illustration or layout.

When they work well together, the reader won’t take any notice of the composition of a photograph or style of writing but be totally engrossed in the message they convey.

That’s certainly our aim.

z2zine next: Borrowed thoughts in borrowed words

Follow us on twitter @z2zine

At the moment, it’s ‘benefits’.

This is a shame, because it’s not such a bad word and originally meant a kind deed or something well done. Then one day people like me got hold of it. Copywriters grabbed it, bundled it together with ‘features’ and tossed both into copy for brochures, press releases and other marketing and PR materials.

The kind, friendly element was drowned by the dressing to ensure the ‘you must buy it because it’ll be so good for you’ message always got through. ”Forget features, sell the benefits,” people say.

The more I look at the original meaning, the more I like the word. Perhaps what I don’t like is the approach to marketing that reduces everything to a formula, which when applied automatically tends to fall flat. (Thinks back to weigh up own guilt.)

Another use of the word, to describe state social security payments, hasn’t helped either. With a stronger attachment to the failure of government systems rather than the relief given to genuine claimants, the poor word doesn’t stand a chance.

Now I regret it being in my bad books. I want to like benefits again and restore its benign impact, but this means working harder to find better ways of talking about features and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .

z2zine next: If a picture can paint a thousands words . . .

Follow us on twitter @z2zine

Some of them are eager to sell, some are very keen and some sound desperate.

So many sales and marketing messages . . . on twitter, in unsolicited emails and phone calls . . . tell me I need to redesign my web site. Why? No one asks how much business our web sites generate? Some even ask if we have a web site – fail for research, chaps.

Now I don’t mind people contacting us if they’re reasonable and prepared to have a reasonable chat, but the caller who wanted to tell me how he could help us develop our business just would not answer my repeated question: “What is the point of your call?” So I ended it politely.

From pressing the top 10 reasons why I need to do one thing to telling me why doing something else will make me so much money, these people don’t realise that beating up your potential customer is not a good start.

We all need to buy products and services and sometimes we need to change suppliers or improve what we’re already doing, but frightening us to death with horror stories doesn’t build a relationship . . . especially when we can see straight through the sales patter: a dead customer can’t pay an invoice.

Please can all sales people and marketers realise that, while usually I don’t mind someone identifying my genuine needs and offering methods to fulfil these, I get angry when forced to buy at gunpoint.

Am I the only one?

z2zine next: Are you on benefits?

Follow us on twitter @z2zine