No, we don’t have a franking machine. No, I don’t want to win tickets to football matches. No, no, no.

It’s all right, I woke up feeling cheerful this morning, so why the rant?

It’s not really a rant, but annoyance at poor marketing.

When I go to a cashpoint, I don’t want to be offered the chance to win football tickets as I have no interest in football. The assumption that I am interested annoys me. Now, promotions through cash machines are a challenge to target as most people need cash, both those who like sport and those who don’t. If my bank wants to drive away non-sports lovers, it’s doing a good job. If it wants to keep us happy, it could either stop offering football tickets or offer a range of tickets for other activities, eg theatre, music, film. These wouldn’t just not annoy me but would actually attract me to participate in the promotion.

And I wouldn’t feel so annoyed if sales people phoned up and asked if we had a franking machine rather than asking to speak to the person in charge of the franking machine which we haven’t got. How sloppy is this? If they can’t be bothered to establish whether or not the franking machine they think we have exists, it’s unlikely they would provide good service had we got one.

Just a slight alteration and all annoyance can be avoided.

It’s worth remembering if you don’t want to annoy potential customers.

z2zine next: getting small things right can make PR more effective

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If a business doesn’t promote its products and services to potential customers, it won’t be a business for very long. Every business has to do it, from global brands to sole traders.

Some people don’t like talking about how good they are, while others are only too happy to hear the sound of their own voices again and again . . . and very often . . . again.

How you promote your business is up to you – subtly, vigorously or outrageously – although it’s best to choose a style that won’t alienate customers.

What’s important is that the claims you make should not be outrageous, even if the way you make them is. For example, claims to be a social media guru could be undermined where an individual has a very small number of visible online contacts or rarely communicates with anyone. People are likely to ask: “How can they be an expert when they don’t seem to be capable of doing it themselves?” Even if there is a good answer to this, few will hang around long enough to find out.

It’s rare to get a second chance so make sure you can substantiate every claim for eagle-eyed customers.

z2zine tomorrow: I don’t know

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It’s good to be able to believe what we read and see, but experience teaches us not to trust everything. In the world of marketing, advertising and PR, colours can often appear brighter, flavours more tempting and experiences more exciting than in the real world or so it seems . . . until we make a reality check.

Do airline adverts match up to the experience of being squeezed into a Smarties tube? Do car adverts reflect those notorious intermittent faults that main dealers can’t track even with their hi-tech diagnostics programs? Does this year’s new toothpaste taste any different from the new toothpaste of last year and every year before that?

Have to make a quick cynicism adjustment here. Ah, that’s better.

But is it really possible to create promotional material that is genuine, truly representative of the product or service and still interesting enough to excite customers?

Yes, although sometimes advertisers can get too close to their products. After the market research, the product development and design, the brand creation, it can be difficult not to get excited. After all, if you don’t believe in your product, why should your customers? But it’s important to remember that your product could be just one of a dozen, hundreds or thousands of similar products on the market.

Just saying a product is exciting, innovative or better won’t make it any of these. If you want to say it’s better, faster, more efficient, then prove it. Give real examples backed by data. Get customers to test it and give their opinions. If they say it is better, that’s great.

Does it matter? Will anyone notice? They probably will and customers don’t like to be tricked, deceived or misled, even if you genuinely believe your product beats all the competition. Both you and your customers are likely to have greater confidence in your product when you back up your claims and it could even give you an edge over competitors whose claims are vague and unproven.

So if you make a claim for a product, prove it.

z2zine tomorrow: Guaranteed sleep remedies

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